Movement

How quickly the lack of Voyage, also accurately called the lack of Action, turns to boredom. It's more than "going nowhere", it's a waiting for nothing. When there is a goal, the voyage fills my being, it's like every part of me is alive, the struggle is happiness. Goals and dreams achieved feel hollow. A lot of people like to overcome loftier after loftier goal thinking it's the goals that are making them feel great when it's actually the winding stairwell before. • Action or Voyage don't have to imply movement. Right now I'm in stasis on a Saturday, because there's no decision to do something, to go someplace. This is in contrast to a proper Lazy Saturday, where Inaction is the action. It is the standstill voyage, so it feels good. It's a voyage of standing still, rather than the excessive movement of the work week. I too, just yesterday, at the same spot felt gratified by the stillness. After a few hours of hard work what you want to do is the action of lying down, doing the action of taking a nap. Yet now, I'm fully rested, I'm full, I read, I wrote, I did all those little things we'd do every morning, if we had enough time, now there's just emptiness, the sense that time is being wasted, that it's passing faster than I'm moving, that right now there should be a Voyage occurring. • This isn't new, it's how we spend most of the time of our lives. How many hours are wasted away to nothingness, day after week after ever. But because it's a lively epoch, because a lot of change is happening day-to-day, the usual numbness to the waste isn't there, in its stead a restlessness of standing still, a silent scream that softly permeates and pushes the body to get moving. This feeling goes away too easily after a while, but it's precious to notice how alive it makes one's existence, how to strive for its perpetuity is the ideal, and so laughably easy of an ideal, nothing like the usual utopias of far off snapshots of potential glorious futures where "everything will be alright". Staring at the base of a huge mountain you don't know why you'd want to climb. Outside the Now. Stuck in Ghost Time. How it's clear that stepping out of these moments is what puts you into that setting, twenty years from now passed n a blink, standing at your window from your hard-earned home, to kids, wife and a lawn when what was actually meant to happen was that you were to be on a voyage. You were expecting to be sailing away, but instead you're at a familiar place, perhaps a coffee shop, with familiar people and "What happened?", "I missed it". • Plans or Lack of Plans, whatever is necessary to keep the Action going, to keep this feeling alive, sometimes still, sometimes moving, always on a Voyage. This is what I want to do. This is what I will do.