I am Scared of Action

A familiar place this. My usual self. I can hardly recognize the person I "was being" three months ago, though that ended only three weeks ago. I'm back to my natural state. Every day is a stratagem to not get things done. Watching time go by, I'm simultaneously terrified with doing nothing as I am of starting something. Should I have taken the red pill? The knot in my chest tightens. I search for meaning and can't find it. I'm making excuses to not go on a soulsearching trip. I find excuses not to look for work/money. I have no fun. I'm not chasing my dreams. Are my dreams too modest? Do I have dreams at all? They seem to drive a lot of people. My dream is simply to not be scared. That's not very inspiring. So I sit here in fear. The knot tightens. How can I be free?