Concessions

My heart is dark now. Again I'm at that solemn place of Resignation to Acceptance. A lonely place. Squall on his bed. I could never ridicule him like others did when he said "You're always alone in the End," but what he didn't know, even if he ventured to future and past, is that there is no future, only the Now. • Everyone and everywhere and every"thing" wants me to concede and give in. I can only Sigh and Choose not to do the right thing when I know what it is I truly don't care and am not sorry. You can't beat the system. The turtle can never defeat the eagle. And I don't want to join them either, the right thing for me to do, when I have the chance, is escape. • I am an Escapist, I take no pride in it, and don't feel loss of pride in it. I want to be free. Maybe I want to be free more that I want to be happy, perhaps I always did. Still I am sad, not so much that I also demand concessions, and not also that all this is simply the way of the world, but that sometimes there as promises of truth - misguided requests for truth which turn out to be veiled concessions, once again, behind every corner. No one wants to know that they're little, no one wants to be belittled. The first inklings that the rollercoaster rails will turn down start to wail. Play the masquerade, what else can I do but sigh for now. Sigh until the overdose of Languishing propels me onto my next mission.