I can't have friends

Not in the perfect sense I'm realizing. I can be around my friends, and they like being with me, but I can't live with my friends, I can't be constantly in their space, nor can I live socially well without a lair to retreat to. To get away back into myself. I become annoying when close for too long, they become a burden to me also. I shouldn't feel down, I don't actually, only rationally, and that counts for nothing. So let's accept it rationally, yes? I am a person who has to live in a lonesome warm place, and my friendship must be professional, I go to them for the allotted time that benefits the both of us, the social exchange with the talking and the laughing and the things, some of them nice ones. Or, we meet in a strictly professional context, nice and warm nonetheless but with a distance that creates that wonderful illusion of how it could be with its absence, for people are always optimistic, but I know so I'll leave all of us in the mirage while I hide away with my 3D glasses. It's okay, you're always alone, and you are born and die alone. It doesn't bother me heavily, I know how truly far away we are from one another.