Loneliness

A temporary respite of loneliness, or at least my illusion of it. I had asked for companionship and went forward towards a thin promise of a temporary one. Companionship is a misnomer perhaps, it might be simply fear of admitting what I want is communion, symbioticity with another, for a while. What I always derided in others, what had puzzled me - the scientist - before, starts to reveal itself as an obvious, if abstract, need. A turning point? The mundane becoming the new interesting event by all its previous avoidance. A revolution in normalcy. The wonderful mere existence. Exhale. Maybe I just need my fix. Then off we go back to limbo. • Perhaps it is clearer though that, as I always suspected, it's all about me. The vehicle of my love is just that. I should try to be happy for a while, I hope to. I want to. Play by their rules. See the appeal. Not just appreciate it. But be it... there's always the choice of giving up.