Right Where I Left Off

How strange and edifying. I remember when I left this place. It was in pain and frustration, that I couldn't find a way and ways to stay, that I thought it impossible. How I grasped for the only rope I saw and that rope was hopeless then. And now here again, at the exact same place, the exact same table at the exact same coffee shop, in the exact same season I left and didn't see through, only to now by a miracle be given another chance. "Maybe I need to go to new places just so I can revisit them. I love revisiting." • This time I'm armed differently, I have different arms and different eyes. "Zapłacić czy jeszcze jedno?" Now there is peace, and being grateful, and how this makes it all work. If there's something I learned from the Soft Nightmare, and I learned a lot, was that Laughter destroys all Misery. Now everything is okay, and I don't even feel like adding "for now." And so the world gives me the answers it withheld before, it gives me new keys with thorns, but the thorns are mercifully small, almost lovingly so. Perhaps, the "good pain." • Time is immobile, there are no promises in the future, and that is wonderful. I was allowed to catch a thread from the past, and continue from where I left off. I wonder though, we're fairly injective, we can only be one person at each time, so how many threads are we leaving dangling to pick up later or perhaps never? When is it the time to return to one of these threads? Can a thread 'not worth returning to' be the right one for You to return to? Weave it all or leave the mess, whatever you wish, as long as you don't worry